From Overwhelmed to Overjoyed: What One Kindergartener Taught Me About Patience and Love

I stepped into the classroom with kids running around me, and I thought “Am I going to be able to do this?” A few months ago, I started as a Real Life Intern at an elementary school working with the kindergarten to second grade age groups. I had taken care of kids before, but this was a completely new challenge. I never had to manage a classroom, and by the end of the first day I felt like I could not manage a classroom. The kids were awesome but smart; they knew how to push the limits.

I remember during one of the first few program days I was reminding one of the children about the rules and his response was “You are boring and close-minded.” How do kids know how to get right to your insecurities?

There was one kindergartener boy in my group who I will call Sam. Sam would experience intense emotional outbursts when he felt overwhelmed that would often result with him on the ground blocking the doorway. I didn’t know what the best way was to help Sam and the other program leaders during these moments, and I doubted I would be able to step in and make things better.

One day we were doing a pottery activity. I noticed Sam having a tough time keeping up with the steps to make a bowl and all the other teachers were busy with other kids. I decided to go and sit with Sam. We started to try to create his pottery project and kept laughing at my inability to make a bowl. As we left that day, Sam smiled at me and said, “Bye Miss Kylee!” I began to do an internal happy dance.

From that day on Sam would run up and hug me as I walked into our classroom. He still had his hard days, but when he was crying on the ground, I didn’t see Sam as this overwhelming challenge but rather my buddy who was feeling some big feelings. Sometimes those big feelings were not easily resolved, and I would end the day by doing some deep breathing in my car. Nonetheless, I really loved working with Sam and all the other kids.

It is crazy to think that when I started, I doubted I would be able to survive the class much less fall in love with my work, but I trusted the process. I told myself no matter what, this is a valuable experience to have in my life. I will have children in my vicinity in some kind of way, so this is training for whatever the future holds. It turns out it really was training, but not just in surviving childcare. I learned so much about what it looks like to love kids who could potentially be labeled “troublemakers” or “problem-students.” These students just need to be seen, and discipline is a part of that, but they need discipline with love and understanding. Children are also so authentic; they will tell you like it is. I personally struggle with people-pleasing, so this has been a trial by fire in embracing authenticity. It is cliche, but I do think this work has changed me for the better. As we are nearing the end of the school year, I am getting my heart ready to say goodbye to my students, to say goodbye to Sam. I reflect on the first day and I tell past Kylee “You got this girl but get ready to practice your deep breathing.”